Dec
24
Wow, I have never seen a kid giggle so much in my life as Grayson opened presents at my dad’s earlier. This kid is not only spoiled, but he is so precious. My dad and step-mom got Grayson this Thomas the Train toy that you can flip over and then put it on the ground and it automatically rolls away. He is in love with this toy. I am so excited for tonight when he opens the rest of his gifts!
I wish there was more I could blog but honestly everything else in my life I do not feel like talking about on here. I am down in the dumps and have been for the past week and a half. The stuff with my cousin is causing a rift in my family and now my brother is not even going to my aunt’s for Christmas dinner tonight. To go along with family drama, I have been very sick to my stomach and have been very tired as well as had sore breasts. All of this led my mom and husband to be convinced I am pregnant. I did not even want to consider this because I knew I would be let down but after them saying it over and over, I got my hopes up. When I took the test, I am sure you can tell that it was negative which has caused me to be even more upset. I am frustrated with my body and it makes me feel like less of a woman as crazy as that sounds. I am married and happy and why can the next step not hurry up and get here? I know I need to lose weight first and know that it is better for me and my future children that I am not pregnant right now since I would be high risk but it does not hurt any less.
I just have a lot of feelings and emotions to deal with and would rather just leave it like that. For some reason the winter makes me super depressed and I do not know what to do to change the situation. I am just going to plaster a smile on my face and try to get through today. Sorry to cut things short but it is time to head on over to my aunt’s and then back to my mom’s for Christmas with my siblings and nieces and nephews!
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