Aug
27
Today has been one super hectic day that did not turn out like anything I had planned or imagined. The day started with my husband telling me he loved me and kissing me goodbye at 5 a.m. this morning. He had agreed to go help his dad today which meant his dad would swing by after he got off this morning and pick the hubster up so I would not have to take him later. After the “I love you’s” and kisses were exchanged, I fell back asleep only to wake up an hour later to my cellphone’s text message alert. Oh boy, who in their right mind would be texting me at six a.m. considering everyone around me knows I am not a morning person? Let me re-stress this, I am not a morning person. Low and behold, it was my brother-in-law asking me to tell my husband to turn his phone on which I informed him the hubster was not here so I couldn’t help him with that. So, off to dream land I went once again.
Around 10:30 a.m. I wake up to my phone once again. Considering how I didn’t fall asleep last night until almost four, it’s a wonder I didn’t think to silence my phone but since the hubster was leaving, I left it on in case he needed to get in contact with me. This time around, it was my step-son’s mom asking me if I could meet her at her work to pick him up. He wasn’t supposed to be here until Friday, but it didn’t dawn on me that it was Thursday until after I agreed to come pick him up. Also, I know that today is Friday since it is after 3 a.m. but for all intent purposes, I am still in Thursday mode since I have not been to bed yet so bare with me folks. After our phone call, I rushed to get dressed since I had to pick him up thirty minutes later. I also talked my mom into riding with me and Beth decided to tag-a-long as well. As we pulled up to my step-son’s mom’s work, she comes out of the back (the kitchen area) holding him in nothing but a diaper. I’m sorry but since when is it kosher to take your child out in public in just a diaper? I was raised that children, even babies, do not go out without proper clothing and something on their feet even if it’s a pair of socks if the child is not walking yet. I was livid to say the least. What if we had planned on going somewhere after picking him up? Too effing bad obviously.
So that is how my day started. We also need to throw in the fact that I missed my math class to keep Grayson since my sister had to take my mom and step-dad to the emergency room. My step-dad injured his hand a while back and has finally decided to get it checked on. Evidently, the pain has finally gotten to an all-time high so he thought that it was time to get something done about it. Thank God. I really hate seeing him in pain and when he has no grip in his hand that obviously is a sign that something is wrong. A part of me was very happy to miss my math class since it is the most boring class known to mankind. We have all of our assignments and lectures on this computer program and all the teacher does is read straight from the computer. I’m sorry but why is attendance mandatory if I can do the same thing in the comfort of my own home? I find this ridiculous and not to mention that there is this annoying ass kid who won’t quit talking and humming throughout the class. I swear, one day I’m going to bash him in the head with my keyboard.
Anyways, I did make my night class which is political science. However, on the way to school, I banged my head on my sister’s car since I forgot her car sits a lot lower than mine. This, my friends, has caused me to have a raging migraine. I hurt all through class and the rest of the night. When I got home from class I barely could see and was in tears so my mom gave me a percocet to hopefully knock me out and help with the pain. Nope, ‘fraid not. I am still hurting and I’ve had another pill about an hour ago. Nothing is helping this migraine. My whole head is sore and even the back of my eyes hurt. I have never been in so much pain. This pain is a lot different than my normal migraine as well since it’s not a tension migraine. This migraine has also caused me to have a bout of insomnia which has been a quite frequent thing lately. For some reason, I have insomnia a lot more when Grayson is here. I think I am paranoid about his night terrors and such which he hasn’t had for the past three weeks. *knocks on wood* I have no clue why I don’t sleep as well when he is here other than the fact I am just worried something might happen in his sleep which is just my paranoia talking. At least with my migraine and insomnia I’ve had a chance to actually sit down and blog. I’ve missed my blog. There is so much I have to say, but I just don’t have the time to say it. I have made an honest effort to start making more time for blogging since I have a few other blogging projects I’d like to work on as well, but this blog is my number one priority!
I am going to go lay down and watch one of the Hallmark or Lifetime movies I have on my DVR. Hopefully that will relax me enough after I go get me some apple juice so I can get to sleep. For some reason, my mouth is very dry right now as well. Also, please excuse any weird wording or what not in this post. My husband already told me earlier that I was slurring and not making sense due to my medicine so I can only imagine how this blog post has turned out. I did however read over it three times before I published it though. So anywho, later loves.
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9 Comments
Jun
05
Ever since I was a little girl, I always have known that when I got older I wanted kids. I love and adore them. Having Grayson every weekend has just made that desire even stronger. Some of my favorite moments with Grayson have been when it was just the two of us cuddling before his bedtime. Just earlier today, Grayson was all curled up to me and he laid his head on my chest and just let out this little sigh. It was so precious and melted my heart completely. I now know more than ever that I want to be a mom and I want to have loads of children of my own. I was put on this Earth to be a mother.
After talking to Jonathan, we have decided to take starting a family very seriously, but we have a big obstacle in our way in regards of parenthood. I have PCOS which is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. PCOS basically means my hormones are messed up and makes periods and getting pregnant difficult. I am also insulin resistant because of this as well. I have been talking to my doctor about children and she knows that I want to be a mother. In fact, one of our very first conversations after being diagnosed resulted in me in tears and from then on she has made it her personal mission to help us be able to conceive. So now that I know we both are on board, it’s time to take action!
The first step is going to be the hardest step of all. In order to even think about being a mommy, I have to lose a lot of weight. My doctor has prescribed a prescription and I am going to be starting it soon. This step is the one that scares me the most because I never realized how messed up my life was in regards to my weight and eating. I really think being overweight is like a disease and you never truly realize how much it affects your life until you go through it. I have also been considering gastric bypass. At first I was completely against surgery but now I don’t know. After seeing Jenn’s journey after surgery, it has really made me want to get more information about it but I am unsure if I could ever afford it. I don’t have insurance and the only option I have right now is possibly Medicaid which I highly doubt they’d cover gastric bypass, ya know? So I think I will just research a little and try the prescription while I am trying to make my mind up. If I can get past this first step I know I will be home free. I guess part of me is just scared I am going to do all the work of losing the weight and then still not be able to have children. Fears really can get the best of you at times.
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